Seriously?!

Do you know what I get super tired of? And I know it's ignorant for me to say, but I loathe when other mom's complain how tired they are, how their kids drive them crazy, how they think everything they do is better than how everyone else does things. How they only cook organic ass food (which mind you there is NO scientific data that proves that crap is better than other food), god forbid you feed your infant formula, that their kids are smarter than every other kid on the planet.

Do you want me to be all happy for you because you cleaned your house and did laundry and made dinner? Seriously?!! That's what you are suppose to do, so you won't get any gold stars from me.

Putting your kid on a pedestal just sets them up for some big time failure and in need for some serious therapy.

I think people like that are truly miserable and are just trying to cover it up.

I'm just saying...

Dark(er) Days

So, I'm not even going to beat around the bush.

I am freaking exhausted. Almost to the point where I can barely function.

Have I ever mentioned that Evan, as cute and squishy as he is, has only slept through the night like twice since he was born? And yes, he just turned six months old.

And, I'm not talking like he only wakes up once during the night. We are talking getting up two or three times. On nights like tonight, when I don't get home from work until a little after 2330, he will get up around 0130, 0300 and then again around 0430. I start my day with the other kids around 0615.

Needless to say, I get very little sleep. It is catching up with me now. Tonight at work I had a patient almost bleed out on me and I missed the warning signs. I'm just not like that, I never miss those things. You would have thought that a bp of 88/46 would have caught my attention.

The pedi thinks that Evan has colic. Babies usually outgrow that by four months, so I don't buy that. The thing is, he's a great baby until around 1600. Around that time, he kind of turns into a devil child. Satan himself, hell on earth. Crying, fussing, you name it, he dishes it out.

Did you hear that? It is 0051 and he's up. He's up a little early tonight. Good thing I have tomorrow off....

Four Brothers

Happy Brithday Will

He turned six years old today. Actually, this morning at 10:37am. He was my shortest labor and delivery at just 1 hour, 37 minutes. We brought him home from the hospital on a bitterly cold January day, he was almost too small for his car seat (we had to wrap him in a few blankets to make sure he fit securely).

He was also our smallest baby at 5lbs, 10oz. The baby that was so small and wonderful. I could carry him around all day.

He has changed so much in the past year. He started kindergarten this past fall. He's come out of his shell, realizing that he doesn't need his older brother's the show him the way. He has many friends, he loves school.

He's funny as hell. Will has a sense of humor that is beyond his years. He makes us laugh uncontrollably.

He is a sweet natured child. He is protective of his siblings.

He is still physically small, though his personality is 10 times his size.

He's an awesome kiddo. We just can't get enough of him.

Where Did The Past Six Months Go?

Evan fell asleep on Sam before we left for school yesterday morning. Brotherly love is a serious thing around our house! Evan turned six months today and I just found him in the living room on his hands and knees rocking back and forth. Traditionally, all of our kids were early walkers-all walking well before twelve months, so I have a feeling Evan will be the same way!

Back To 'Normal'

I'm not going to lie. I gained a ton of weight when I was pregnant with Evan. My baby weight has never just fallen off of me, I'm not that lucky of a person. I have to really work at it. I love junk food, it's for sure my downfall.

I can't even bare to admit how much I weighed the day we had Evan. The thought makes me want to throw up in my mouth. I am that average person who gains weight over nine months and takes me nine months to lose it.

I've lost 50, and to get back to the weight I was the day I found out I was pregnant with Evan, I still have 12lbs to go, but, it's a light at the end of the tunnel!

Now that I am thinking about it, what does it mean when people say, "OMG, you've had six kids? You don't look like you've had six kids!"?

I've been dwelling on that for a while now. How am I suppose to look? Am I suppose to look like a tired, over weight mother of six who doesn't take care of herself?

I think that is part of the problem with society. I have heard people say, "I know I'm over weight, but I've had two kids". I've decided that's not really a good excuse. The good lord knows it's almost impossible for me to resist that mac & cheese I make the kids for lunch sometimes, so don't get me wrong. I just think our society in general is lazy.

The perfect exercise routine is getting outside and playing with your children. That is all I am able to do. Would I totally LOVE to take a yoga class? You bet, but, that doesn't really fit into the schedule. I will however, always make time to get my hair cut or get out by myself for a little 'me' time.

Let's be honest with one another, I enjoying looking good. Not only for myself, but for the husband. I don't know any husband that wants to be seen with a wife that looks like shit (and this goes both ways, boys!). Okay, that is the rant for the day.



Went to Dan's Home Depot this afternoon to have lunch with him. I mentioned in the post below that we were going to start a little home reconstruction. It's a little overwhelming now that I've not only seen this prices on some of this stuff, but then did (as quick of) math that I could in my head and almost had a panic attack. It's not like I thought these projects would be cheap, but it's all the 'hidden costs' involved that virtually double the price of everything. New carpet in the house is going to cost (just about) $1300-and that's just the lower level.

If we add our breakfast room, the flooring (10" ceramic tile) will cost $1600, but that includes instillation, so that's bonus (?).

I hate these kinds of house projects. I kind of left Home Depot feeling as if it would be cheaper just to tear the damn house down and start all over.

One thing at a time, so I'm not sure how this is all going to work out yet, but we have found that everything always works out the way it should.

Dream Big and Setting the Standards High

Dan and I have been talking a lot about the house over the past year or so. We love this house. We bought it four years ago. We love our community. We love our school district.

The house, though, after bringing three babies home here, seems to be getting smaller by the day. We can't all eat dinner together because of the size of our kitchen, and the table isn't as big as it used to be either, lol! We added a fourth bedroom two summers ago.

So we've decided to (attempt) to add another bedroom, add onto the lower level family room that we cut in half to add the fourth bedroom , and turn our already existing three season sun porch into breakfast room. It's big thinking right now, but, if we want to stay in this community that we've grown to love so much, it's the only option. it will throw our house value over the norm, but we will be here for a while, so we figure it's a good long term investment.

This little project goes along also with the windows that are going to be replaced in the spring and the new carpet that will be going down soon (I found this awesome dark charcoal color that *I think* will hide a bit more dirt than the light tan we are dealing with now). We will also be replacing the kitchen cabinets at some point. I found cabinets online at Ikea that I am totally in love with, so Dan and I were thinking about driving to one of the Chicago Ikea's during spring break in March.

I've been thinking a lot about what I want to go back to school to do. Nursing, nursing, nursing. Well, I have been thinking of other things and it's exciting and nerve racking all at the same time. Getting my ducks in a row now, my time is coming!

Today Was....*Deep Breath*

It was good, actually.

We were reminded today by an unlikely source that we really are good parents, so that was pretty awesome.

Libby had her first day at the new preschool. She really enjoyed herself. I was happy because she was happy, but I wasn't as thrilled. We will see. If she continues to like it, then I will like it. Idk, this change has been harder than I ever really expected it to be.

We spent the day running around and now, I'm enjoying a beer and a movie with the husband and watching the snow fall outside. So relaxing.

Back to work tomorrow for 3 shifts in a row. Good times.

Makes You Wonder...

If what people tell you is really what they think, or, if they just say shit to make you feel better for that split second.

So, whatever.

Grow A Set, Will Ya?

Time to take control.

And don't forget to breathe.