The Ties That Bind

I've come to a crossroad that has made me sad.

I am seriously debating to wean Evan and put him on formula full time. Work hasn't been going as well as I had first expected and the added stress has killed my milk supply. He is formula fed 50% of the time anyway, so what does it matter? It's a sad thought for me though, I nursed all of my babies. Evan is the last and I wanted to enjoy nursing him for as long as possible, but it doesn't look as if things will turn out that way.

The saying, "The grass isn't greener on the other side", couldn't be more of the truth. I am seriously debating whether or not the medical field is really for me. I'm 32 years old and can't find my 'niche'. How pathetic.

It is difficult being a mother of a large family. Most of us have to work to help provide for the family. I keep telling myself that is why I am torturing myself with this job, but then there is a part of me that feels guilty and sad for leaving my kids while many of them are so little.

Tomorrow is another day. Let's hope it's better.