Loads of Fun

Will's brain MRI is scheduled for February 6th at 8am.

The Good Old Days...

I miss them. A lot. I miss being home as much as I was. I feel terrible for leaving them. I'm rethinking all of this. Is it all worth it?

I question all of this for a few reasons. Two of our kids had check ups over the weekend. Both are dropping on the charts. I'm not home to watch what they eat. I'm not doubting Dan, I'm just......I'm just a control freak that is having a difficult time with all of this.

Both asthmatics are sick again. And I'm not home in the evening to care for them.

I thought this whole working thing would be good for me and now my nerves and guilt are questioning all of that. They are only little once, and I am missing out on a lot already. I see Jack and Sam for just about 2 hours a day. How pathetic is that?

It's just a lot of stress to be the parent to pay the bills, care for the kids half of the day, be the parent to carry the medical insurance......this is shit to be perfectly honest with you.

This to shall pass, I guess.

Happy Birthday, Will

Today, he turned five years old at 10:37am.

He was our smallest baby and just 5 pounds, 10 ounces. He was our most beautiful newborn. He was my fastest labor and delivery, taking just 1 hour 37 minutes.

He was so small that we had to wrap him in three blankets just to get him to fit into his car seat the day we brought him home from the hospital. He wore preemie clothes for three weeks. You could hold him easily in one arm. He was our baby that cuddled the most.

But, today, with a weight of just 30 pounds, he amazes us. His size never stops him. He keeps up easily with his older brothers. He has many, many friends. His sense of humor is awesome. He has a heart the size of ten giants.

It feels as if it were just yesterday that he was born, and now, we have a sweet, lovable five year old getting ready to go to kindergarten. Time flies by way too quickly.

Back To Normal...

...Well, as normal as we get around here. I am off of working days, which I am totally thrilled about. I took the kids to school this morning. I haven't been able to do that for five weeks and I missed it a lot. And this morning I thought for sure it would be chaotic since I haven't been on their morning routine for weeks, but it was unusually calm and organized as it always has been.

The weather was beautiful today. It was close to 60. I am so happy I had the day off. The girls and I had a wonderful morning outside. I figured I had better enjoy it, tomorrow high is only going to be 29. Gotta love the midwest.

So, I was able to catch up on some of my message boards.

Hey, DD, I thought of you and your post about message board ladies. You are right, they can be CrAzY. I started a little fight on one of mine today. I mean, god forbid someone actually has their own opinion. Well, they didn't like mine.

Laura, it's post 43 (you'll get a kick out of it) - I'll email you details about it.

And let me just say that while I support large families and the philosophies of large families, I do not support those who have more than they can financially handle. If you can't afford proper medical insurance, and the basic living needs and expect the government and tax payers to help support you and your dozen kids, then maybe it's time to think about getting your tubes tied. Seriously. I'm sure the tax payers would be more than happy to pay for that 'elective' surgery (<--that was part of my debate today on the board).

This may be Land of the Free, but this is not Land-of-the-free-handouts.

Crying Over Perfect Strangers...

So, I'm thinking maybe now I'm not cut out for this.

Today, I was down in Brain Injury.

I took care of a 28 year old patient involved in a head on MVA while 8 months pregnant. Baby lived, she lived, but she will never be the same.

They teach you early on not to get emotionally attached. Not to take work home with you.

But, how do you not get upset over a mother who will never live a normal life, or able to hold her babies again.

The thought turns my stomach and makes for a good cry home.

Take my advice, wear a seat belt.

Smart As Hell...

Jack is obsessed with anything that has to do with science. Right now, He's into sharks. Which, I love as I loved sharks growing up also.

After another long day shift, I walked into the house and there was Jack all excited, waving his arms in the air, ready to tell me something....

And then came his big chance and he yelled out...

"Mom, Mom...did you know the average Great White Shark is sixteen feet long, eight feet deep and six feet wide??!!!!".

"No way, Jack! I didn't know that". (Yes, I did, but shhhh).

This weekend, I just have to take him to the Science Center to see the movie on sharks that will only be showing for another few days. It will be worth every penny.